Through all the pain, I have found a sense of peace and contentment.
By contributor Amy Ludwigson.
In the fresh air of South Africa.
It took me a long time to realize how much I had been blessed because of the experiences that I have gone through with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. If I ever saw this statement when I was really sick, I probably would have cursed the person that wrote it.
Yet, through all the pain, I have found this sense of peace and contentment that I do not believe you can find without a little bit of pain in your life.
The most important thing was that I learned to love:
I always thought that I loved, yet when faced with all the comments and laughs from people who think you are crazy, you are really tested. I was tested and I failed. I became so angry with the people around me for not only not understanding, but also for being ignorant and doing things around me that made me sick. And it still happens: my best friend came over just the other day smelling like Bounce.
Yet, over time I learned to love. I learned the kind of love that doesn’t require anything in return. I felt the power of love rise up within me. They say that love cures all and it really does.
When my friend wore Bounce over here the other day, it physically affected me, yet my emotions did not add to the symptoms. Instead of getting angry, judging her for not understanding, and taking the situation personally (which is what happened the first years I had MCS)– I just accepted what happened. I accepted it and loved her.
I also learned acceptance:
Acceptance does not mean that it is ok, it just means that it is what it is. This was one of the hardest things for me to wrap my head around. I worried that if I accepted something, it meant I was saying that it was ok. But that isn’t what acceptance is. Acceptance is just seeing things as they are with no judgment. You come to realize that it is our interpretation and reaction to things that make us suffer.
I used to suffer because I believed that if my friend wore Bounce-smelling clothes, she didn’t care about me. Was this true? No. It was my interpretation of the event that made me suffer.
Still a lot to learn:
Even though I have learned these things, I am constantly tested. I do not always pass, yet I feel that my life has become infinitely better for what I have learned thus far.
My life is also better because…
1. I save a lot of money on personal care products.
2. I have learned that life is more then the material things that I had piled up.
3. I have met a lot of amazing women that have shared these same experiences.
4. The world is always greener, after going through seemingly hell.
5. I have learned what truly matters.
6. I have learned to appreciate the small things.
7. I have learned that happiness is free.
8. I have learned that home is not a place, it’s a state of mind.
9. I have become closer to God.
10. Sensitivity to fragrance has kept me away from boys that I shouldn’t date, fortunately all the bad ones seem to love cologne. 
11. It has lead me to seek out some of the most pristine locations in the world, to heal my body and soul. I have stayed at beautiful monasteries in Japan, lived where I have breathed the cleanest air in South Africa, stayed on the beach in Bali and many more beautiful experiences because of the drive this illness has given me.
There are many more… how is your life better because of this experience?
I know that this question can sound ridiculous at times, yet it is easy to become caught in all the negativity and fear that surrounds having MCS. I know that I did, and it did not make the disease any easier to deal with.
Yet, there are experiences and lessons that we have all gained from this disease. Perhaps celebrating those together will help to lift us all?
Peace and Love,
~~~
Amy Ludwigson blogs at Pure Habitat: Live Consciously where she writes about the things that bring joy, that inspire, that make us laugh, and make our lives better for knowing. She is getting ready to launch an online store that sells everything that you need to live consciously – celebrating fair trade, healthy living and environmental responsibility.
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