There is a huge and ongoing learning curve with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. We need to be able to learn and grow from each other in a nurturing environment.
By contributor Kimberly Shaw.
United we fly, divided we fall!
Kimberly Shaw
Someone reminded me recently, “People are always judging each other and, the truth is, they’re not very good at it.”
We with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity are often hoping and wishing that those without MCS would understand what our lives are like. We dislike being judged and misunderstood for our health issues. And yet sometimes we with MCS do not understand and do not accept those within the MCS community. In a sense we “shoot the wounded.” With careless words and harsh judgments we may verbally hurt someone who is already going through a very difficult time.
Perhaps we need to be reminded that we are all in this together. If we cannot understand, stop judging and accept each other how can we expect those without MCS to understand and not judge us!
We are all very different in our experiences, our sensitivities our symptoms and what works well for us. What one person may tolerate, another may not. What works for one person may not work for another. In the process of making a documentary about MCS I have come to terms with this over and over again. As an example: I have been in people’s “safe houses” that I could barely tolerate for a brief time and know that there is no way I could spend a night there. Actually, at least 50% of the homes I have visited I could not live in or even spend more than a few hours there. I have to wonder how many with MCS would tolerate my “safe” home? Clearly what works for one person may or may not work for another. If what works for us, does not work for another is that a reason to judge or be offended?
Another area I sadly see judgments in the MCS community is when someone seems to be getting better. They may just be able to leave their house for the first time in a year or two or they may be claiming they are “recovered.” There are those who instead of being excited and celebrating these people’s new found lease on a less isolated life seem to basically be wishing them doom and gloom by their comments. Or short of that, letting them know that what they are experiencing is just temporary. Who are we to judge what is a few good days, temporary or long-term recovery or what may actually be a “cure?” I figure even if they are just having one good day…CELEBRATE! If they have more, REALLY CELEBRATE!
Then there is another phase I hear often, “Well, I have very severe sensitivities!” Meaning they have MCS worse than someone else. And, YES, some do tolerate much less and have more physical handicaps in their experience of MCS than others. However, it seems MCS rarely stays in a straight line. In my own adventure with MCS I have had times where I could not leave my bed much less my house and other times where I am traveling all over Europe. There have been a couple time where I felt basically “cured” (or what I term as “recovered” almost like being in “remission”) and returned to work outside the home and other times where I just was hoping to live until next Tuesday. I’d venture to say that the person who just found out they have MCS and cannot do certain things they used to feels isolation and that they have lost part of their life as they once knew it. While their isolation may not be as severe as someone who is totally home bound, it feels like isolation and it is a life change. While their symptoms might not cause them major handicaps, they are problematic to the person experiencing them. Mild to severe, we are all in this together.
Recently I was reminded of this when my own attitude needed readjustment. Someone with MCS just found out they had to give up gluten/wheat products and was moaning about how hard it was going to be. Another person complained how difficult it was to be on the Candida diet (which I call the “Can’t Eat It Diet”) and stated if they only had to give up gluten they would be happy. I thought to myself, “Oh give me a break! Try NOT being able to eat all those and a myriad of other foods!” Thinking my diet restrictions was so much more difficult than theirs! Then I remembered back to what it was like to just have one or two food sensitivities/allergies that I was aware of and how I felt my life and diet had to radically change. I also reminded myself of those I know who have an extremely limited diet of two to three foods total. Then I felt great compassion for the people complaining, as they are making life changes and it is difficult. Giving up something you used to be able to eat is not fun, one food or twenty. We all need support to make changes.
“If you can do that, you must not really have MCS!” “That” could be traveling, wearing non-toxic nail polish, working outside the home or whatever! It is hard enough when those without MCS do not believe we have it, but to have those within the MCS community make a comment like that just plain hurts! If you are like me, you have done a few things over the years that others with MCS generally are not able to do. Sometimes out of ignorance, sometimes out of need and sometimes just for the adventure and doing the action in question makes you feel totally alive! You might pay for the action the next day or next week or longer, but it was worth it. Note: I am not advising risky unhealthy behaviors. However, if you are like me, sometimes the emotional benefits outweigh the physical risks. When we do something that appears risky for someone with MCS, we do not want judgment or harsh words, we want compassion, empathy and we might need some gentle education. Sometimes we do not know our actions could be harmful to us physically. There is a huge and ongoing learning curve with MCS. We need to be able to learn and grow from each other in a nurturing environment.
When we become an encouraging, compassionate, accepting community we have more of a chance of educating and helping the healing process. We have more of an opportunity for working together for change in the understanding of MCS in this modern toxic world and creating much needed support within our community.
Sometimes my high school education pays off, I remember a cheer that went something like this, “United we stand, divided we fall!”
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Kimberly Shaw is an author, educator, filmmaker, natural health consultant and lifelong student. She graduated from Clayton College with highest honors in 2004, earning a Bachelors of Science in Natural Health. She currently is working toward a Master of Science in Natural Health, focusing on Nutrition, Herbal Medicine, Homeopathy, Mind/Body Healing and other alternative health practices. She also is making a film documentary about Multiple Chemical Sensitivity and blogs at Serendipity.
