I have learned not to apologize for asking for the simple right to raise my health issue when looking for safe housing.
By guest blogger Missy Gluckmann.
Living with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity can be a challenge, sometimes more so than others. We know that it can also be incredibly inconvenient– having to duck and weave like Muhammad Ali when you are presented with a chemical that wants to take you down. MCS can send you to bed, even to the hospital. But this past weekend, MCS hurt the most when I realized that I was being discriminated against because of it.
While in the process of selling my house, my boyfriend Tony (who is incredibly supportive and sensitive of my MCS) and I have been diligently looking for an apartment in a new community. Which community was not the issue; we found a lovely town north of the city that would meet both of our needs beautifully. The apartment, however, is a bit more tricky. We all know the list: wood floors, good ventilation, no signs of water damage, more recent construction, no basements, not recently painted, away from parking lots/auto repair shops/dry cleaners– anything that can spew an obvious toxic chemical our way. Tony and I found what we thought was a perfect place: a 1st floor apartment with wood floors in a beautifully renovated building. We began negotiations for the rent and lease terms, determined an amount and were told that the lease would be drafted this week. We were even willing to pay a significant finder’s fee for this place as it appeared to be “MCS friendly.”
While packing on Saturday and preparing to move to a temporary apartment for one month while the owners of the co-op we’d be renting found their new apartment, we received a call from the agent. I heard Tony on the phone exclaim loudly, “What?!? You’re kidding me!” It was Halloween after all– perhaps whatever she said was some sort of ghoulish joke. It wasn’t. We were not going to be able to take the apartment after all. Why? Apparently because I had asked the agent to have the owner consider giving us a three month escape clause in the event that something in the apartment seriously threatened my health– and, unfortunately, I could not know if that would be the case until I lived there. I had thought about it the previous week– one possible issue with this apartment is that there was a common laundry room in the basement and we were on the first floor. Would I be smelling those evil dryer sheets daily? Would I be feeling the laundry room chemicals as I slept? Would I be sick again, possibly for weeks, because I didn’t ask a hard question?
Now, having been a landlord, I realize that owners have a mortgage obligation. I was not asking these people to consider my request as a last minute deal breaker– we would have taken the apartment because we had generally done our homework and we thought it would be fine. Other apartments that we have taken have been fine, and I told them this with my written request. I explained MCS and stated that obviously I would not want to have to move because of my illness– and that while I didn’t anticipate anything happening with the apartment, I did have an obligation to pose the question because health comes before a mortgage payment. I indicated that if I did feel unwell that we would give three months notice and provide a detailed letter from an environmental medicine MD to confirm that I was not just being difficult. I emphasized that Tony and I had carefully selected the apartment based on my MCS needs and that we did not anticipate any issues and certainly wouldn’t take a request to move lightly as it would result in stress on my health, loss of a significant agent finder’s fee, moving costs, etc.
When the agent called us yesterday, she essentially said they don’t want to take a risk on me because of my health. They did not say, “No, we cannot commit to an escape clause.” We would have signed a lease regardless as we really believed the apartment would be fine– and as you know, if you live with MCS, you learn to live dodging bullets all day long. Yesterday was the first time that someone directly told me that my health was going to be cause for denying me access to an apartment. I felt like I was slapped in the face, hard. Tony and I told them, as politely as possible, what to do with their apartment and quickly scrambled to cancel our mover the next day, find a new apartment, cancel our temporary housing (which we had just paid in cash that morning!), sell furniture that we thought we would need and now no longer do need for the newer, but smaller space. It was a very good exercise in going with the flow and responding to the challenges of MCS.
Now, could I get a lawyer and make a big MCS stink about it? Yes, sure I could. Will I? No. I took the high road and quickly decided two things that would reflect how I want to live this life. I chose to send an email to educate the agent (and hopefully, therefore, the owners) about how their decision impacted many people and how their lack of communication about any concern caused incredible stress and financial burden to us. But most importantly, I thought of sharing this story with The Canary Report. Why? Because in my email to the agent I reiterated the following: “I have learned not to apologize for asking for the simple right to raise my health issue and that remains the case.” And today I got a lovely email back from the agent, thanking me for my note and apologizing for her client’s poor decision. I was true to myself and stayed an educator, which MCS cannot take away from me.
Canaries, I hope you all remember that you should NEVER EVER apologize for asking hard questions. If the world isn’t ready for them, too bad. Our health and our needs come first, and we will not be silenced. KEEP CHIRPING whether the world is ready for us or not!
~
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