A shot of fresh air: Rebirth

Posted on May 22, 2008 by Susie Collins in Blog, Healthy Living, Leisure, MCS, Susie Collins

Anaehoomalu Bay, Kohala

In the summer of 1997, I spent many, many late afternoons at this beach. It’s an hour’s drive from my home, but three or four times a week, I got in the car and drove to the bay, spent 45 minutes briskly walking the shore line, 15 minutes swimming, then sat and watched the sunset, and drove home in time for dinner.

The previous two years had been spent in a quasi retreat, safe in the confines of my home, trying to understand the chemical sensitivities that had started to plague me several years before and trying to figure out how to chart the rest of my life.

The summer at the beach was better than any of the many therapies I had sought, including acupuncture, Rolfing, controlled diet, Epsom salt baths, alternative dentistry, and more. The fresh air was like a tonic and I cannot even begin to express in words the effect of the healing waters of the ocean. I was blissed out.

It was on one of my walks, here on this beach, when I came up with the idea to return to school and finish up my English degree. I thought I’d go back to school and hone my writing skills. Writing, I thought, could be done in the safety of my home (away from the myriad chemicals and synthetic perfumes that get me sick), and the miracle of electronic communication would be my conduit to a new profession.

And that’s just what I did, graduating from the University of Hawai‘i at Hilo in 1999 with a degree in English and a certificate in Women’s Studies. As luck would have it, the university hired me soon after graduation to help with PR and communications, so I didn’t even have to stress too much about finding work. (And they allow me a home office!)

So this beach holds a very special place in my heart because it put the wind back in my sails and showed me a new way to tack through life.

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Tags: Air, Environmental Illness, Fresh Air Photos, Hawaii, Healthy Living, Leisure, MCS, Multiple Chemical Sensitivity

14 Responses to “A shot of fresh air: Rebirth”

linda

02. Jan, 2009

I spent a year in California, 30 minutes from Laguna Beach (45 if you count parking) and every opportunity I had, I drove to the beach to receive some of the ocean’s healing energy, even if it was for only 30 minutes. I actually met people who lived there who hadn’t seen the ocean in 4 years.

I’m glad it inspired you
: )

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Ruth

02. Jan, 2009

Susie, I’m reading your post (the beach) at nearly 2AM…can’t sleep….just finished an email to a friend in Arizona who is going through a rough time as a caregiver with MCS to her husband who has cancer….she is expressing much the same distress that I had during the final months of my husband’s life and needed to vent in a safe place…I’m glad to be somebody’s “safe place.”
What struck me so profoundly was what you said here in this post about spending two years in your home in a sort of “quasi retreat, trying to understand…” and then “trying to figure out how to chart the rest of your life.”
That really resonated with me and where I’ve been these past few years…I feel at times as if I am imprisoned inside this small apartment, trying to understand what I can do to restore my health…venturing out for the very treatments you mention. I think the outdoors and photo-taking has been my “time at the beach,”
in that it has given me an outlet to experience the world again in a more “normal”
way, where I don’t have to consider MCS 24/7. The flip side of feeling imprisioned in this space (my apt.) is that it is a sacred place where no one comes in unless I permit them entry, where I can let it all hang out, so to speak, and have times of private rage, sadness, and depression if I need to without the need to explain it to others. It is the first time in my life that I have had such a private space….at times it is stifling in its feel of isolation….thank God for computers and telephones!!! I want to be able to use this time to reinvent myself in some way,
to be able to say that something really good came out of it….am in the process of that right now….don’t have a clue just yet as to what lies ahead. Clearly I think I
need some help in working this all through…I have an excellent counselor whom I will begin seeing again shortly, as funds permit (which ain’t much!!!), so that will be a start for the new year. Finding safer housing is number one on my list for the new year, as you know. I like the expression “reinventing myself.” I have friends who say “Ruth, you are amazing in how you can reinvent yourself!” I have always been able to do that in my life…..this time it will be much more challenging than ever before, and at 65 I do have some limitations that I didn’t have before, and MCS throws a clinker into the mix Big Time, too.
Guess the new year brings out contemplation of all sorts!
Thanks for listening.
Hugs,
Ruth

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Susie Collins

03. Jan, 2009

Uh-oh, the canaries are deep in the archives, my very first post!

Linda, I can’t tell you how many people who live in Hawaii never go to the beach, including me! I rarely ever go anymore. Why don’t I go to the beach anymore?

Ruth, I am sure you are a wonderful “safe place” for your friend in her time of need. My prayers go out to her and her husband. And I do hope you find your way through this phase of your life quickly. It took me two or three years to figure out how to adapt to the disability so I could still be productive and of service to others. So be patient and diligent, it will happen for you.

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Mokihana

07. Mar, 2009

Susie, The beach did it for me too … we lived in the car in the Sandy Beach tidepools parking lot, and Waimanalo Beach ocean swims every morning … that was part of the best of the a’ole (without) house with walls time. I get that! And still, ocean, Puget Sound walks … they always remind me who I am.

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Susie Collins

08. Mar, 2009

Mokihana, sounds like you made lemonade out of lemons! I love Sandy Beach and Waimanalo Beach– Sandy Beach especially. I spent many hours on that beach while at UH in my 20s, waiting for my boyfriend out body surfing. So beautiful, I totally understand how sacred those places are for healing. And I’ve walked the shore at Puget Sound, too. I have a bowl full of treasures from beachcombing there my last trip. You have found some magical ocean places in both locations! It’s true– they are places that remind you about who we are.

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Connie Rae

22. Feb, 2010

Love the picture, love the post! Love the beach…and its healing power. In 1997, I was doing much of the same thing (though not much swimming or barefooting) in the winter on east coast, mostly NJ. I am so grateful for those healing times. I was just reading my earliest MCS journal of my first place of refuge at the winter beach! ahhhh!

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- Susie Collins
  
  22. Feb, 2010
  
  Interesting, Connie, that you too found balance and health at the sea. I’d love to get back into the routine of going a couple of times a week. I do my chores around our little mini farm during that time block now– we didn’t have a flourishing garden with ponds and chickens back then. How to find the time? So crazy, I live in Hawaii and never go to the beach.
  
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Linda

23. Mar, 2010

Thanks for sharing Susie. Mom is in Florida, and never gets to the beach anymore either. It makes me sad –such a long time that I have seen a beach. And I was just in Florida.

I am happy you have such a lovely home which is safe most of the time, and find such joy in your little safe zone. You own paradise.

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- Susie Collins
  
  23. Mar, 2010
  
  Thanks, Linda. I keep thinking that I will again get back into the routine of going to the beach a couple of times a week. I love walking barefoot in the sand and swimming in the salt water, I just cannot duplicate that powerful healing energy in any other activity. I’d love to see if it can give my health a boost once again. But I think I’ll pass on the bikini this time around!
  
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celia

23. Mar, 2010

This is impressive and encouraging–

up here in the north . . . I have to drive over an hour and a half to get to a frozen great lake (I have two from which to choose)–

so that only happens in summer–

I am close to a park/woods, and it’s about 20 minutes to a lovely wild river/woods with a wonderful river walk–

most of the time I am safe there; every now and again someone comes through wearing something scary–

of all things–

but I find it very healing–

nature is healing, and oceans/bodies of water are powerful–

Thank you–

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maria

21. May, 2010

Well I wish I could drive but I had to quit ten years ago due to CFS. My goal is to move to the north to a village by the Bay of Biscay, far from industrial pollution, close enough to a bigger town, with the green countryside behind it and the roaring ocean at its feet, close enough for me to reach it after a short walk.
But it’s just that, a dream, by now. I can’t do it on my own. In the meantime I can’t even stay at hotels so… it’s a slow death for me right now. I don’t think I’ll make it.
sigh

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Jeanne

21. May, 2010

Susie,

Happy two year anniversary!! Look at what you’ve accomplished in 2 years!!

Jeanne

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Roslyn

22. May, 2010

Happy 2nd anniversary Susie, you are doing a fine job, amazing!

Yes fresh air is the greatest healer of all, it’s just having to go through the toxic jungle to get to it and then back to ‘The Stinky’ after. My dream is to live close to the sea or high on a mountain.

Keep up the great work Susie. x

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Eva

05. Jun, 2010

Happy second anniversary, Susie! You’re doing an amazing job!!
The Canary Report is great and I’m so proud to be part of it.
Hugs,
Eva

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